Do I accept the world in all of its fury, despair, and appetite without also accepting the tranquility, affection, and harmony that stands at my doorstep when I walk outside to breathe in its life? Do I receive all the life and grace God extends to me in my calloused palms?
God made a unique space where both light and dark exist not one without the other but in beautiful moderation. Harmony and humility meet where we hold the idea of light and dark existing as one.
Two of the questions for reflection and discussion are: “Who needs to hear your testimony? How might God use you in your sphere of influence” (Worrall, 81)? I wrote these questions in a place where I can refer to them often. When I’m feeling unqualified in life, I can find comfort in knowing how loved I am by Him.
When I feel there is no place in Christianity for me because of who I used to be, I remember who is my guide – He who found me at the well and offered living water.
Here I sit in the middle of another road asking God what he needs me to do. All he whisper is, “Try.”
That simple, yet dangerous, prayer led me to begin again. God soon filled my heart with a new vision: to become a professor and to use the professorial platform to speak and write about issues of race and Christianity.
I, like Pontius Pilate, have a change of heart when presented with the reckoning.
Husband and I lay, backs on the bed staring at the ceiling, no kids at home. Finally, time alone. How would we spend this time? Would it be as all the times before? Pretending we weren’t hurt? Hovering surface level?