“I want to know someone who was dragged through the mud and made it. Because I want to know I can make it too.” My friend’s face is no nonsense when she utters these words to me.
I want to make it too, friend? How about you?
The human experience is the bridge of God’s Truth to our takeaway. – Glynnis Whitwer
We sit at a Starbucks in Kerville, Texas overlooking Nimitz Lake. It’s our regular meeting time for coffee and writing. Every other Saturday morning, at 6 a.m., Robbie is my community. We sit and chat for a few minutes to catch up on the last two weeks. She’s not on FB anymore and I’m thinking of giving it a go (again).
“I don’t want all the fluff. I want mistakes. Why are you talking about how hard it is to make a beanie when our hearts are breaking from the severity of our consequences?” She says this about a piece I wrote not too long ago where I reference making a beanie for a life lesson.
Her words carve knowledge into me. They leave an imprint of responsibility on my skin. Her words conjure up testimony. This is what friends do for each other.
Friends evoke testimony in us.
There are days I don’t see how I will get through. I can say all day that God will carry me, but deep down I’m afraid. Deep down I don’t want to tell you what I’ve really been walking through for fear of losing you. I fear judgement. Although, I’ve gotten better about it, it’s still something that lingers near.
If I told you there was a time in my life where finding a man to live with was more important to me than was finding God and letting him fill my home, would you still be here? I had to love me through Him before I could ever be comfortable with being alone.
If I told you after I gave my life to Christ, I still curse like a sailor, would you still want to be in my community? Does it make me less Christian? There are days I count how many times I’ve cursed to show me hard evidence of all the times I’ve become angry. I’m in recovery from those words and from being angry.
If I told you there was a time I completely gave up because I lived perfectly snug in the cocoon of being a victim would you believe me? I don’t live there anymore because of who God is. Being weak doesn’t mean I have to be a victim, it only means I look to God for the affirmation instead of looking to my friends for a dose of “pick me up.”
I’m on a journey, friends. A journey to walk alongside Jesus and learn from who He is, what He’s done, and where He’s going with me. Where I’m going with Him.
The life of a Christian is not an easy walk. If anything, it’s become harder. The walk becomes crowded with things you never noticed were there before. Suddenly you notice the stones, the uneven dirt path, weeds growing over topped with beautiful yellow flowers, and sometimes you notice you’re not even wearing the right shoes for the walk.
It’s not anything I would give back because it makes me a better version of me. For all it’s worth, we could all be a better version of ourselves.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17
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