These last two weeks were riddled with situations that, only a few months ago, would have sent me off the deep end with fire on my tongue and venom in my voice.
Co-Parenting is hard and not for the feint at heart (Jesus help us all). Old family wounds aren’t scabbing over. Comparison finds its way into my wardrobe and I find myself wearing it without second thought.
Finding the joy in all of that is difficult, especially with Christmas upon us.
When I tap into the space where God created peace inside of me, it is easier to display grace. And more often than not, when I display grace, it looks like defeat. Do you feel the same way?
They say: “I won the argument. She had nothing to say because she knew I was right!”
It may seem I have no more fight left in me to respond to that accusation (and many more like it), but the truth is I have enough fight left in me to take to my grave. How I choose to use that fight says a lot about who I am and who Christ is in me.
I am not Saint Teresa, friends. Please don’t take me working through my grace as a “holier than thou” approach. I hope it does not come off that way.
Do you find it difficult to find the warmth and comfort of this holiday with so much noise around you?
Here are four ways to let grace replace your fight so that joy may find you:
Know who you are.
You are not what people stack against you. When you allow lies to become your reality, you barricade yourself shut from the rest of the world. The world cannot see your beauty if you are hidden. You are (insert name), fearfully and wonderfully made. Be confident in that.
Let the truth reveal itself.
The facts are facts. They eventually come to light. You can shout the truth from the mountains, but the person fighting you will never hear you. When the facts reveal themselves, there is no arguing against them.
Be kind to yourself.
It’s hard to hold back tears when you know you’re right and someone else is wrong. Cry it out for awhile if needed, but always come back to the place of knowing who you are. Do not beat yourself up for what you cannot change. If you were wrong at one point, do not wallow in that. Learn and press forward.
It’s not about winning.
This one is hard for me because it’s an absolute. It’s the closure needed to wrap it all up in a neat bow like the rest of my gifts this Christmas. Yet, when we talk about grace this will never be a neatly wrapped gift because grace is the elegance of the spirit.
Let’s say that again.
Grace is the elegance of the spirit.
I need a lot more practice in displaying my elegance. And I will one day learn that I need to replace “my elegance” with “His elegance.”
Many blessings to you this Christmas season as you deal with family and friends. I’m right there with you.