I’m joining #FiveMinuteFriday over at Kate Motaung’s place. The five-minute free write word is HELP. Here is what I’ve written with no edits, no corrections, etc. This is five minutes of free flowing natural writing. The forward slashes indicate where the timer started and ended.
//I grew up thinking women needed to do everything for themselves. This is what it’s like to grow up with strong matriarchal figures. So, when it came time for me to require help for myself, I couldn’t do it.
Speaking up gave me anxiety. How did I not know that my baby was crying because of colic? How did I not know to flip her upside down on my lap and gently bounce-pat her until she burped?
I remember being terrified to ask for help. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
I felt like a failure for not knowing what I was supposed to.
Quickly the “how do you not know how to do THAT?” piled up on me.
At some point, I let go of this fear. Although, the matriarchs in my family will still respond with, “You’ve gotta figure it out for yourself, mijita” I’ve learned to ask other women for help. Women whom I look up to just like I do these matriarchs.
No one has it all together and that is comforting to know.
This is how community engages you. It shows you the value in yourself as well as in the work you do.
This is not lost on me.
I hope I can be as strong as the women in my family, but if I’m not, that’s okay too. It will have to be. There is grace enough for me.//
I think our girls, women, boys, and men should be able to ask for help. I think it should lead to a conversation where we learn from each other.
I sometimes think our world is littered with violence (of the mouth, of the mind, of the spirit) because we are afraid to ask for help.
Help! I’m scared.
Help! My heart is compromised.
These cries for help should not be taboo without society shaming our fears.
Be someone’s community. Work better at lending a hand, an ear, a heart for someone. We’re all skilled at something. Let’s share that with one another in hopes of ending the fear of asking for help.
Here are a couple of great articles I found this week on asking for help:
- Asking For Help Reveals Strength, Not Weakness
- 5 Things to Remember When You Feel Scared To Ask For What You Want
Thanks for joining in the five-minute free write today. Would you like to join? If you are a blogger join the #fmfparty on FB and/or link up toKate Motaung. Leave a comment on what the word HELP means to you.