My topic this year is “Finding Hope in Unmet Expectations” because that’s what my book is about as well. On Fridays, I will write you a poem. Every day in October, I will write a short non-fiction essay or vignette for you. Each day has a different word prompt. I hope you enjoy.
Today’s word prompt is CREATE.
I fold the thick, red card stock in half. I run the bone folder on the jagged spine which will later become a handmade card. Is the beauty truly in the details? Because I have too many details, too many specifics carved into my gait, too many stray scars loitering on my soul. Does God know where I got the ribbed, lifted flesh on my right index finger? Does He know I tried to unhook a fish and was too scared to hold it still so, the hook bit my finger desperate to hold on?
Does God know I felt like that fish when M reminded me I’m not the mother the world says I should be?
I hot glue a golden spec of sequins to the front of the card. The glue melts through the eyehole desperate to come up for air from underneath the shine, from underneath the decor.
Does God know sometimes I pretend to glisten but feel myself stuck to the front of a card? Inside is what matters but the outside gets first dibs.
I hand letter, I LOVE YOU to the inside of a neatly folded, perfectly decorated hand-made card.
Like a fish tugging at my finger God tugs at my soul and asks, Do you know how much I love you?
It is clear and unexpected the visible change in me from a deeper place. This scar is visible by the offering written on the palms of my hands. I am created anew.
From nothing He made something out of me. With my old life dangling behind me like an attractive sequins, He reminds me I don’t live there anymore.
Out of nothing came something. I imagine the spirit of God hovering, wingless, over the expanse that would soon become the earth I know. It is well with my soul to know before God uttered one word, He created.
And in His majestic creation, He made room for me – a fish by a new name, handmade from scratch, written upon with love.
“Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it” (Revelations 2:17, NIV).