My youngest daughter has expressed her independence for quite some time. It is never more pronounced than when I try to put clothes on her, change her diaper, or feed her. She shakes her head no and wiggles her entire body to keep from being dominated.
And she has incredible muscular power for a child. Context: She is eleven months old. If I’m holding her near a chair, she can lift the chair off the ground. I knew she was a powerhouse when I was pregnant.
This morning was no different, struggling to wrap her in my legs just to get a shirt on her. It’s like I have to establish alpha status and I’m not a very domineering person. I don’t want her to grow up believing that I have to fight her to help her.
I can see this playing out when I take things away from her and she takes a swipe at my face but hands it to daddy with no second thought. Instead of letting it take the best of me and make me feel defeated, I’ve started to speak power over it.
I now use different language in hopes that it becomes second nature when we speak to each other. I hope these help you as well. I repeat these sentences to her because, as an adult, I wish so badly this power would have been spoken into me. I’m gonna break that streak of powerlessness in my own seed. I am determined to raise gentle, yet powerful women and men.
“I am not your opponent. We are on the same team.”
“Together we are stronger. Together we accomplish more.”
“You are so strong and I admire that about you.”
“I love how independent you are and mommy wants to learn from you.”
“Mommy is not hurting you. Mommy is helping you.”
“Let’s do this together.”
“Mommy is your greatest asset.”
For what it’s worth, it may not work, but I hold hope it will. Just like it’s not proven that listening to music in the womb makes you more intelligent. I did it anyway (with all three) because why wouldn’t I try?
Her new book about rebellious girls is perfect for her, because when I read to her about these brilliant women it plants a seed that she can wield her power for the greater good. One can only pray that we’re doing what’s best for our growing children.
Friend, this is Day 29 of a series of posts for the month of October. I’m joining Kate Motaung over at Five Minute Friday for the yearly Write 31 Days challenge. My topic is “Finding Hope in Unmet Expectations” because that’s what my book is about as well. Each day has a different word prompt. I hope you enjoy.
Today’s word prompt is FOLLOW.