What is a wife’s secret to happiness? Is it her romanticized notion of ruling her household? I grew up where women led because if they didn’t, homes would fall apart. I took the truth of what matriarchy stands for – a staple – and inadvertently took it to mean she was the ruler – the whips and chains kind. I had it wrong.
I believed a woman had to rule the kingdom instead of bringing the kingdom into her home.
I was curious to read A Wife’s Secret to Happiness: Receiving, Honoring, and Celebrating God’s Role for You in Your Marriage by Jen Weaver. Jen speaks to millennial Christian wives who find themselves wanting to boost the life, support, love, and communication in their marriage.
Going into A Wife’s Secret to Happiness I knew the word (cough) submission was going to be thrown in. I cringe typing it. I am not a doormat! And I’m not my husband’s servant! That is what the word submission meant to me. It was hard to pry my fingers from the negativity that continues to surround it.
A wife can certainly be the matriarch and, dare I say, submit to her husband.
“Submission is not about changing your personality. You can be a strong, outspoken, expressive, passionate woman and still be submitted.”
I wanted to get my husband’s opinion of submission after reading this book. He gave me a great understanding of submission. I wish I had asked sooner but am glad we discussed it.
My hubs said each time we face the opposite sex and we choose to remain faithful, choose to refrain from flirtation, choose to not act upon desires, we are submitting. This is one way we submit to our partners and to the union made under God. Because, as Jen explains, at the end of the day we all submit to something.
“Our actions always show submission to someone – whether to ourselves, the enemy, or to the Lord. We have the opportunity to partner with our husbands with sincere hearts, as servants of Christ.”
This book recognizes and understands marriage is not a one-size-fits-all deal. This isn’t a how-to book, it’s a rely on Christ book.
Jen weaves her personal story throughout the book with humor, Girl, yes! moments and gentle nudges to recognize nothing works well without God at the forefront of our understanding of marriage. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). When we take to heart that God is the third strand in our marriage we can better love our spouse.
I was surprised by A Wife’s Secret to Happiness. The reader wasn’t bogged down with old-fashioned jargon. Jen respected her readers by not talking down to them about what a woman should do. She began with singing a wife’s praise! She built her reader up with real life stories of wives in all too familiar situations and gave her reader practical exercises to easily put into practice, along with several downloadable worksheets and quizzes to keep the reader constantly engaged.
She touched on submission in an abusive relationship – you don’t. She touched on what to do if your husband is not a believer and how to allow your husband to lead well.
“The role of a husband is to champion his wife’s cause, not conquer her.”
At no time did I feel like giving up on the book. I am relieved to know I am an “intentional crown” for my husband for a specific purpose.
I saw a lot of my marriage in these pages. Although targeted toward a millennial reader, I took some very valuable lessons from the book on how to better love my spouse. In particular, I keep forgetting that God is our third strand and that he is the ruler of the kingdom. Not me (and not my husband).
If I let my husband lead, I will start to see the fruit of God’s blessings in our lives.
From the back cover: No matter your title – from stay-at-home mom to business executive to ministry leader – you can celebrate God’s role for you as a wife…
A Wife’s Secret to Happiness can be purchased here: Jen Weaver
*Thank you to Stephanie Alton at the Blythe Daniel Agency, Inc. for allowing me to review this book and for providing a book for the giveaway this month.
Sign up for my newsletter and be automatically entered to win a copy of A Wife’s Secret to Happiness: Midweek Brew (click here)
Winner will be drawn March 25, 2017 and announced on FB.